Week Wrap-Up

This has been quite the week. Even before it began I knew it would be a marathon, not a sprint, but I had no idea that the moments that would stick out the most would have nothing to do with the programs or events I had planned. The week consisted of incredible highs, but also held some of the hardest moments I have experienced since moving to Keller Park. As I process the week, here is what rises to the top:

1. Tuesday we launched "CREW", a weekly youth gathering. I'm excited to dive back into the youth ministry world. Despite the rainy weather, we had a great turn out. This year is going to be quite the adventure as I discover how to best communicate to this group of students.

2. I have made some new relationships with moms in the neighborhood. A couple times this week a lady in the neighborhood came to use our computer. The time on the computer turns into a couple hours of just talking about life. I am blessed by our time together. I find myself looking forward to our quick trips to the store and conversations over text. Along with this lady, I have had in depth conversations with others. I'm so thankful they have allowed me to be part of their lives. I have learned so much simply by listening to their stories.

3. God's provision has been overwhelming. Raising support is so difficult (I know I've hit on this a couple of times in the past, but it's just so "real life" to us). Even in this time when finances are scary and there is a lot of unknown, we have felt so much peace. God has provided for every need. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it's just...one thing to be in a financial place where you can say, "God will supply for our every need" and quite another when you're in the place of "God, we need you to provide. You alone are the supply".

4. David is...pretty much amazing. Several times this week I noticed David taking lead in moments of ministry. God is shaping his heart and giving him so much courage. Even today, a mom in the neighborhood told me that she would allow her son to come with us on a trip because of her conversations with David. He does so much from breaking up fights, to walking children home to talk with parents, to helping me cook dinner for the neighborhood kids. I'm so grateful I get to minister alongside him. God clearly has a hold of David's heart and is shaping him into exactly who He needs him to be.

5. A tough reality of the neighborhood is that many of the children do not have a father in their lives. This truth made this unforgettable moment all the more unforgettable. On Monday after homework club, David was taking a couple kids in his truck to our house for dinner. David said that the two kids, one girl and one boy, asked to both sit in the front so he raised the arm rest and let them sit beside him. The boy(let's call him Tommy) asked to be in the middle. Tommy is a boy who has really captured our hearts. He spends a lot of time in our home and often goes with us on trips. We really love him. He...justs....feels like part of us. While David was driving, Tommy looked at the girl next to him and said, "See, I told you David was my daddy". That night, David and I spent a lot of time talking (and crying) about how great of a mission field is before us. We're in this for the long haul.

6. Today we took a group of kids to my mom's for a Fall party. We had a great time!

Some much good went on this week, and yet, when I look back, the moment that stuck out the most was not happy at all. Here is the story....
One night after an event at that church, some teens and children were hanging around outside. The children had been asked to leave several times, but they just wanted to be where everyone was. As everyone was milling around on the sidewalk, I began to clean up the food we had served to the group. For some reason, something caught my eye outside. As I looked up, I saw Tommy being held by two teenage boys, one had his arms and the other his feet...his pants were down. A third boy was hitting Tommy in the chest. I ran out the door, yelling for them to stop. The boys dropped him and dispersed. Just as quickly as it stopped, the kids took off down the road after someone else yelled "fight". I went back into the church, shaken up yet thankful it was over. A few minutes passed and I once again heard a noise outside. I quit vacuuming and went to see what was going on. At the door, a couple girls were frantically trying to tell me what happened and Tommy was crying and shaking. His breathing was heavy and sweat was dripping from him. All I could make out was that the teens had followed Tommy to the end of the street and jumped him again. As I look up, I saw David jump in his truck and drive away in search of the teens. Everything was moving so fast. Tommy came inside the church and we sat until he could tell me what had taken place. My heart was broken. I couldn't bare the thought of what had happened to him. I know that the city is hard and that the kids have to be tough, but as he sat in the chair by Stella, I couldn't make sense of it all. It felt as if my own child had been beat up. As David came upon the group down the road, the teens were circling around another boy. David was able to break up the group and took the other boy home.

That rest of the night was really emotional. I had a difficult time controlling my tears. We love the kids so much, but the reality that we will not be able to always protect them became ever too real. That night I desperately wanted to tuck Tommy into bed and tell him that nothing like that would ever happen again. Unfortunately, I cannot make that promise.

All and all, this will be a week that I will not soon forget. God is teaching us new realities each day and I am thankful for the time we have in Keller Park.

Tonight, I'm not the same person I was on this day last week. I'm thankful for that.

Satan, You're a Heifer

Tonight, at the kitchen table, David, Stella, and I were talking about the day's events. David and I got on the topic of how we had felt like Satan was just really trying to seek victory in several areas of our ministry. There is so much hurt and need, children's behavior is often overwhelming, and our journey to raise financial support seems like a black hole (to say it politely). At times, it just seems like too much.

After feeling sorry for ourselves for a short time, we decided the best thing to do was to yell at Satan. I pointed to the ceiling and yelled, "SATAN, YOU'RE A HEIFER"! (It was the best I could think of at the time). "You're not going to win!" Just as I had finished yelling, Stella joined in. She pointed her finger and with a big grin, yelled with all her might, "Sanan, Yur a heefer! Sanan, Yur a heefer!" We laughed and yelled together. Satan is not going to win.

1. Satan will not get the souls of these kids. I feel like we have been in battle with Satan over the lives of children in Keller Park. Sin is knocking at their door and everything appears hopeless. The battle may seem bleak to some, but we're gonna fight to the death on this one. He will not win. Daily, we are reminded that:

Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

He will not win.

2. Satan will not steal our joy or hope. I have found that Satan is pretty tricky in this area. He gains a foothold in our lives by stealing our joy and ultimately our belief that things will get better. People become disenchanted with life and before you know it they have lost the joy of being a parent, loving a spouse, going to church, seeing the best in others, or serving the Lord. When our joy departs, our hope soon follows. No, Satan, you cannot have our joy and there is no way you're getting my hope.

3. Finally, Satan is not going to keep us from ministering in Keller Park. The last week has been a blur of activity as it pertains to our support raising. Nothing seems to be working out as we had planned or hoped and we are no where near where we thought we would be at this time (as it pertains to financial support). I've heard it said that God is seldom early, but never late, but He is sure cutting it close. At times this week the situation seemed hopeless...UNTIL we realized that it was only hopeless if we let Satan win. He had done a pretty good job of keeping us distracted by the lack of funds that we were missing out on the adventure of trusting in our Lord. Satan will not win. If we have to eat Ramen noodles and work at McDonalds....we'll do it. God has called us to the neighborhood of Keller Park and there is no way Satan is going to take us from it. He will not win.

In conclusion, and in the words of my sweet little sugarbee, "Sanan, yur a heefer!" My God is going to dog walk you (the teens tell me that "dog walk" means "beat up"). Satan will not win. The End. Game Over.

Highlights

So much has happened since we first moved into the Keller Park neighborhood. Each day is a new adventure that comes with both victories and battles. It's extremely fulfilling to watch children finish their homework or expereince something new. There is a great deal of laughter. Below are some highlights of the last two weeks:

One of our first mornings here, Ali and I walked down to meet the kids at the bus stop before they left for school. I felt such joy as they waved from the window of the bus.

Sunday after church, David and I took Stella and three neighborhood girls to see Winnie the Pooh. We had a blast! It was so fun to see each of them down the aisle, holding their popcorn and enjoying the movie. After the movie we took a trip to Target to pick up a few school supplies.

We have hosted lots of meals and formed many new friendships.

Beautiful Chaos

Tomorrow marks two weeks of us being in the neighborhood. It has been such a rush of "firsts" (I'll blog about that later). Each morning, I am excited about the day ahead. There is no doubt in my mind that we are exactly where we are suppose to be.

Six months ago, when I was dreaming about what life here would be like, I was most excited about the possibilty of having lots of children in our home at dinner time. Tonight, we invited four children over to share dinner with us. I was excited about being able to see this dream fulfilled. The children were to arrive at 6:00p for a Mexican fiesta. At 5:45p, seven children arrived... at 5:50p, 4 more knocked on the door...6:00p came around and so did three more kids. Counting David and me, there were sixteen people in our little house all ready for dinner. It was chaos.

Boys cheering and yelling at 2K11 on the Xbox.
Girls running to and from Stella's bedroom, always sporting a new princess dress.
David processing quickly to break up a fight.
Fingers secretly grabbing pieces of watermelon off of the table.
NOISE, oh the noise!
It was chaos. Beautiful Chaos.

While I was making dinner, I was startled by the boys yelling, "STOP!" I couldn't figure out what they were yelling at until Stella came around the corner holding her spray water bottle. She had drenched the group!

Five pounds of ground beef. 50 soft shell tortillas. 1 large can of nacho cheese. 2 bags of tortilla chips. 1 watermelon and 1 cantalope. Lots of hot sauce. Dinner is served.

After dinner, we headed out to the court to shoot some hoops.

Stella joined in on the fun!

Tonight was a beautiful night. My heart is full.

The Time is Here

Well, the time has arrived. What was once a far off thought is now becoming reality. We are moving to the city. Tomorrow we will load up a good majority of our things and take it to a storage unit until we figure out what will fit and what needs to go. Then, on Saturday, we will take what is left to our new home. We have spent much of this week painting and cleaning, trying desperately to get everything done. Each day we've been at the house, we have had several knocks on the door from neighborhood kids(one day I had the windows open and I heard someone yell, "CARRIE". A young girl was pointing to my car yelling to everyone that I was home). They come right in and make themselves at home, always looking for something to eat and asking when they can stay the night. It is exciting and a bit overwhelming all at the same time. Stella has already marked her territory in her bedroom. We have decided that her room will be her private cave and only she can invite visitors to enter. We are learning.

My thoughts are a bit jumbled tonight. There have been many emotions and lots of work which leads to a slightly crazy Carrie. In hopes this will help me process, please allow me to list a few things that are running through my head.

1. I want a love for my city. A lady at the park today had a shirt that said, "Love Your City". I want to love my city. I am asking God to give me a love, a supernatural love, for the city of South Bend.

2. I really wish our support was fully raised. With such a busy summer, David and I are so behind in raising support. It is a difficult process, but I am reminded daily that, "when God calls, He provides". He's got our back, we'll keep telling our story.

3. We have WAY to much stuff. As I pack box after box I wonder how we have acquired SO MUCH STUFF. It's time to simplify. Gone are the days of picking up things here and there. There is no room for anything we don't need. Freeedoooom!

4. I'm freaking out a little. When I let my flesh take over I think about safety, privacy, performance, acceptance, time management, Stella's childhood and protection, leaving camp, etc. People have commented a lot lately about how we are stepping out in faith. What I would like to comment back is that this step of faith is not without moments of panic, BUT I am sure that God is in this and He is so faithful. Okay, I'm done living in that spot.

5. I'm really excited. Even in the midst of panic, I have a sense of anticipation of what God is going to do. We are going to be working with great people in a great neighborhood. I'm excited to be part of a team, excited to make relationships with my neighbors, and super excited to see lives changed (mine included).

Many people have asked how they can get involved. Right now there are two ways:

1. Please pray. The next couple of weeks/months will be a time of transition. Some transitions are difficult. With a new culture to learn, a new home, and new norms there will be much to adjust to. We covet your prayers. Will you please pray especially for Stella?

2. Will you come beside us and become a partner in ministry? If you are interested in providing financial support, you can send a check with ACCT. #246 written on the memo line to:

Nappanee Missionary Church
PO Box 110
Nappanee, IN 46550

Thanks for taking time to read my blog.

Carrie

Headed to the City

Over the next six months, our family will be transitioning into a new ministry. This move is bittersweet, but as my grandma would say, "put your memories in your pocket and keep moving". We are confident in God's leading and excited for what is in store.

When we had Stella placed in our home, nearly everything changed. I changed. David changed. Our daily routine changed. Our ministry changed. It was beautiful. There was diversity in our home and it made us...better, stronger. We learned quickly how easy it was to love someone as our own, understanding all the while that we had no blood connection. The connection was much greater than blood. We knew that adoption was the way that God would build our family. What a glorious way to build a family! Six months ago, David and I set out on a journey to adopt again, but in a week's time were turned down by three adoption agencies for various reasons. We didn't have enough money. Stella wasn't old enough yet. We weren't the right "fit". I felt defeated. In the discouragement, with the help of a friend, I began to understand that for that big of a NO, God must have a plan. He sure did.

Through the Teen Camp program at Prairie Camp I made a close partnership...no...friendship with a couple who was doing urban ministry in a neighborhood in South Bend. We were able to scholarship many of their teens to experience camp in 2010. During several meetings, they spoke of what they were doing, things like: hosting a homework club for elementary children, providing a safe home for children and teens in time of trial, preparing dinner for those who had no food, and holding a once a week small group for teens. I was captivated at what was taking place. Kory and Ali Lantz were(and are) doing incredible ministry from their house.

In mid December, Kory and Ali invited us to their home to learn more about what was happening in Keller Park. They took us on a tour of the neighborhood and gave us a glimpse of what God was doing. At the end of our time together, they gently asked if we would be willing to come, move into the neighborhood, and partner with them in ministry. The ride home was quiet. Our hearts were heavy.

In the weeks that followed, God made it quite clear. He was calling us to be missionaries to the city. We needed to sell the majority of our belongings and move to South Bend. The decision was followed by countless questions. Would we be able to raise enough support? What if we couldn't raise enough to live on? What if we can't do what is required of us? We don't know anything about this way of life. Camp is safe, the city is not. What about Stella? What about Stella?

Then it hit me. This was God's bigger plan all along. Our call to care for children in need would take on new form. God had said "no" to the adoption of one to say "yes" to the care of many. He has said "yes" to feeding, loving, and making our home available to the neighborhood of Keller Park. What we learned from Stella about unconditional love for others would now be played out in every area of our lives. As for Stella, her adoption was not about taking her out of the city, it was about giving her a family, a forever family. Our family does not change based on the house we live in or the city listed on our license. This move was a new way to show Stella what it means to follow God, no matter how scary it is.

There are a lot of things I don't know. I don't know how to raise support. I don't know how to work with urban families. I don't know how to live in the city. What do I know? That God has called and we are going to follow. So, I suppose I can finish each of those sentences with "yet". I don't know how to raise support yet. I don't know how to work with urban families yet. I don't know how to live in the city yet. We're walking in faith, learning along the way. When God calls, He provides.

On Friday, February 11, at 10:00am we closed on a house in the Keller Park neighborhood. We'll be working on the house and moving in August. We are staying at camp for the 2011 camp season to give time for the camp to hire and train a replacement.

We're excited for what is to come. We'd love for you to come on this journey with us. I'll be posting more about that later, about how you can partner with us.

For more information about the Transformation that is taking place in the Keller Park neighborhood, check out Kory and Ali's blog.

Blessings!